Girth McDürchstein's 'The Hedge'! — The Lyrics

Guilt Trip

Demon: This hedge maze of yours is burning,
The police are on their way.
It's time to begin moving,
But there's someone in your way!

Zombie Mother: Baby boy, stop right there,
And stare with your blue eyes
At your dear departed mother
In between the hedge of life.

"Girth": I've gone insane
With you to blame.

Zombie Father: Boy, it wasn't us,
It was those blasted toys and games.
You ran away from us,
It was not the other way.

Zombie Mother: Don't go blaming us, you ass,
You brought this on yourself.
You hid within the opaque glass,
And put us upon the shelf.

"Girth": I've gone insane.
Am I to blame?
It wasn't me!
It was the games!

Dead The One: Girth, I loved you
I always have.
Why did you leave me,
You worthless little man?
If you had only seen the way
I saw the world,
You never would have left
And you would have kept the girl.

"Girth": I've gone insane,
And she's to blame.
That rotten bitch
Crawling on my fame!
Why did I leave her?
I just don't know!
I was too scared,
So I let her go and ran away.
She loved me,
And I loved her.
I didn't run away —
It was those fucking games!

I've gone insane,
And no one's too blame.
It wasn't anyone,
But those rotten, violent games.

The Judge: Close your fucking mouth!
Bow down to me!
This day is judgment day,
And you'll not go free!
Just sit right there,
Up against your hedge!
Close your little mouth
And listen to the judge.
You blame your computer games,
The media will, too.
But you know it wasn't any game,
But there's something wrong with you!
You've gone off the deep end;
I think your parents are to blame.
And this traumatic incident
With that lovely college dame.

"Girth": I've gone insane,
And I'm to blame.
Something snapped
And trapped me in the maze.

The Judge: It's time to lay down judgment
On this most unusual case.
Look up at me, Girth.
Gaze upon my face.
You've gone through your whole life
Thinking you're a genius,
But you were wrong!
You're a fool!
A misogynist!
A racist!
A schizoid
Little man.
And for that you must wallow in the consequences of your actions!

Demon: Here is the end of your maze!

Zombie: Run toward the light. Run!